Margaret Anna's Birth Story

Okay, after 2 months I am finally writing out the story of Maggie's birth.  

Warnings: 

This will be long and wordy.  I am incapable of being concise, especially on such an emotional topic. ;)  Anyway, this is really for me, and I want to remember every detail.

This is what I remember of the birth, so some of the details may not be exactly perfect (times, etc).  But this is my story, the way I experienced it.  If you've given birth before, I think you know what I mean. ;)

If you are a male and/or a female who isn't "into" these kinds of things, you may want to skip this post.  Consider this your TMI warning!

Maggie was due on Wednesday, Nov 12 - my sister's birthday!  Of course, that day came and went without incident.  Since Stella was an entire week late, I didn't really expect this baby to come on time, but I couldn't help feeling a bit gypped as the due date passed!  I'd been having some small contractions for the previous week or so, but nothing really promising.  Sunday morning, the 16th, we went to church and I sat by 2 other pregnant ladies (who ended up having their little boys on the same day as each other!).  I was having some contractions throughout church, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  That afternoon we put Stella down for a nap and Jonathan did what he could to get things going. ;)  Then he was off to church again to lead the youth group.  I decided to walk up to the bread store with Stella, in one last attempt to keep those contractions going.  It's uphill all the way home, and I figured if that didn't do it, it wasn't meant to be.  Plus we were out of coffee and they usually have Tully's for cheap.    

Boy am I glad I got coffee when I did.  By the time I was putting Stella to bed at 7:00ish the contractions were noticeably stronger.  While I was reading to her I had to stop and breathe through each contraction.   I just told her mommy needs to breathe for a minute and she breathed deeply with me, which was very cute.  I started setting things up downstairs, where I planned to labor.  Jonathan came home and blew up the pool, I made sure I had everything gathered and sat down on my birth ball.  I started tracking my contractions here (very useful site).  Jonathan put Antiques Roadshow on for me, the British version, which is one of my favourite shows.  I used to watch it when I was pregnant with Stella, and just hearing the theme tune makes me so happy (I'm a dork, I know).  I called my doulas, Sherri and Barbara (2 wonderful women from our church) to give them a heads up.

By the time Antiques Roadshow was over, I wanted the TV off.  I needed to concentrate.  We turned off the lights and lit the candles.  Jonathan put Belle & Sebastian and Rosie Thomas on the ipod, and brought me some raspberry leaf tea.  Around 10:00 or so (I think!) we called the doulas and asked them to come over.  We also called my midwife, Cindie, to let her know how things were going.  She was actually at the hospital with someone else who had gone into labor unexpectedly, but she thought she would be able to come when needed.  She said she'd send Mel, her backup (who would have been there for the birth as a backup anyway) to check on me when needed.  

One of the first things I noticed once the contractions got stronger was that I was having back labour.  AGAIN.  Crap.  With Stella, I spent nearly the entire time I was at the hospital in the tub because of the back pain.  Apparently during the course of labour she twisted around, though she had been in good position (back to my front) for the last month or so, and was born face up.  It appeared the same thing was happening with Maggie.  (Later, after she was born, the midwife confirmed that she came out twisting around.  Little stinker.)  This is where my fantastic doulas really shone.  Sherri spent the majority of my labour putting counter pressure on my lower back.  She seriously has arms of steel.  I honestly don't think I would have survived without this.  Barbara stroked my shoulders and arms and spoke soothingly to me, helping me relax.  Jonathan spent this time making tea and cleaning the entire kitchen - woo hoo!  (The kitchen had been an utter disaster.  Who can reach the sink to wash the dishes with a big baby belly in the way? ;) )  Sherri suggested I try a shower, so we slowly made our way up the stairs to the bathroom.  Jonathan helped me into the shower and I let the water run over my back.  The contractions were pretty hard to deal with, and the pain was completely in my back.  The water felt really good, though.  It was really hot.  After I got out I stayed upstairs for a little while.  And can I just say that one of the miracles of the night was that Stella slept the entire night without a peep?  The bathroom is right next to her room, and I was not quiet.  I was out in the living room for a while after that, and I can't believe she didn't wake up.  She is usually a deep sleeper, but this was not exactly a normal nighttime situation.  

Another thing that seems to be a mark of my labours is throwing up.  Yuck.  I think I had started throwing up earlier in the evening, and after I got out of the shower I remember leaning over a bowl with my belly resting on the kitchen table.  Not fun.  I didn't feel like going back down the stairs, as the contractions were pretty strong.  They brought the birth ball up and I sat on it and leaned over the back of the couch, with Jonathan sitting on the couch to keep it from sliding.  (And Sherri's hands firmly placed on my back, of course!)  By this point I felt like I just couldn't catch a break between contractions.  It felt like they had escalated pretty quickly from the beginning, faster than with my first labour.  I remember saying that I wished I could just take a nap for a little while. :)  I also remember at this point hearing Jonathan and the ladies talking about calling the midwife.  I'm not sure if it was clear whether Mel (the backup) was going to just show up at some point or whether we were supposed to call again when we needed her.  So Cindie, my midwife, was called, and we must have been pretty convincing because it seemed like Mel showed up (with her backup) fairly quickly after that! :)  One of the worst moments in my labour was during this time, when I was throwing up during a contraction.  I couldn't even breathe through the pain, and I just felt so completely helpless.  It was horrible.  They were giving me Gu (NASTY stuff!) to help keep my strength up, but I just kept throwing it up.

When Mel arrived (I think it was around 2 or 3 in the morning) she introduced herself and her backup between my contractions.  I think I said something stupid, like, "I'm sure you're a really lovely person". :)  I think she asked the doulas a couple of questions about how I was progressing, and then she asked me if I felt like the baby was moving down.  I said that I hadn't really noticed, all I knew was that my back really hurt!  But I said I would try to notice at the next contraction.  And lo and behold, during the next contraction (which came almost immediately, of course!) I realised that the pain in my back moved down ever so slightly during the contraction.  (Halellujah!  The baby is moving down, and I can feel it.  Amazing.  Maybe I won't be in labour forever after all!! :)  That really gave me some encouragement, though it still hurt so much I was starting to feel like I couldn't make it.  With each contraction after that I could feel the center of the pain move down ever so slightly.  I tried to relax and just breathe down the baby.  (Whatever that means I don't exactly know!) :)  It was starting to think at this point that Cindie wouldn't make it. :(  Mel brought her stuff in and set it up downstairs, which is where I had planned to give birth.  She came back up and asked me if I had my heart set on giving birth in the pool.  Apparently there wasn't enough hot water after J washed a bazillion dishes and I took that shower.  Oops.  She told me that if it was important to me, she and Jonathan would boil water and carry it down to the pool for me, which I thought was very sweet.  I also thought it sounded ridiculous.  I had given birth to Stella in the water and loved that.  But if there's one thing I've learned in the past 2 1/2 years of being a mother, it's to BE FLEXIBLE!  So I said not to worry about the tub, which surprised me, really.  They didn't show it, but Mel and Jonathan must have been relieved. :)  

So Mel said we'd better start thinking about heading back downstairs, if that's where I was still planning to give birth.  That did NOT sound pleasant.  But I hung on Jonathan and we slowly made our way down the stairs.  I was afraid we'd have to stop at each stair, but it wasn't quite that bad. ;)  Once downstairs I saw that Jonathan had pulled the hide-a-bed out of the couch.  I sat down on my birth ball and leaned over Barbara, Sherri once again putting pressure on my back.  Poor Barbara, she is a small lady, but she held up well!! :)  Then Jonathan came over to take a turn.  At that point my water broke.  Thank goodness for the plastic sheeting on the floor!  I remember asking for a towel or something to put down because my first thought was, Jonathan doesn't want to kneel in that!  I never felt my water break with my first labour, I think partially because I was in the tub and partially because I was just in lala land by that point.  It was so nice to be leaning on Jonathan during that time.  I had given him full freedom to be involved as much or as little as he wanted during labour.  My only request was that he stay at the house.   So this was so much more than I'd expected, and I was grateful for it.  The contractions were so intense and I was just so tired, I just wanted to cling to him.  After a bit they had me move to the bed.  They propped me up on my side, with various pillows and someone behind me and someone holding up a leg.  I remembered my friend Jessica talking about being in a similar position during her labour with different people supporting her various limbs, and it made me smile as I thought of how comical I must look.  At this point I saw Jonathan hightail it out of there, which also made me smile.  I knew he didn't want to be there for the actual birth, and it just felt so good to know that I could watch him go upstairs yet still feel completely supported (how I could I be lonely with FOUR other women there?). :)  This was around 5am.

I remember Mel telling me to try to push, and I really wasn't sure exactly how to do that.  My body was sort of doing its own pushing thing anyway, and I just tried to go with that.  I think I snapped at someone, then immediately apologised.  Jonathan was waiting at the top of the stairs, and he said when he heard me say sorry he figured I must have pooped.  Which I did shortly after.  I was slightly embarrassed at first, then thought, "Oh well!  These ladies have all seen other women poop during labor!" :)  Then I felt the infamous "ring of fire", which I never felt with Stella.  Barbara told me she could see the baby's head and that she had dark hair.  I reached down and felt for her head.  I read once that putting your hand on the baby's head as you're pushing often provides you with that last little bit of encouragement that you need, and also that you are less likely to tear.  And with just a couple of pushes, amazingly, she came right out!  

As soon as she came out she gave a little cry, and I cannot tell you what joy I felt.  During transition and pushing things had been so intense I barely had time to think about how much it hurt, I just had to get through it.  But as soon as I heard that cry I was instantly elated.  All pain was gone, and they put that sweet baby on my chest.  I started crying of course, and Jonathan was immediately by my side.  With Stella I never got that moment just after birth where you're supposed to feel all magical and wonderful, and I had wondered if that was even possible.  But it is.  It was perfect.  She was so beautiful.  We hadn't decided on a middle name beforehand, I'd had my heart set on Anna (after my sister) but we'd also talked about Elizabeth and had never actually settled it.  But Jonathan immediately announced that her name was Margaret Anna, because she had dark hair like her Auntie Anna.  Which melted me even more. :)  Also in those precious moments, who should appear but Cindie!  As soon as I saw her face, I thought, this is just like a party!  She had tried hard to get there for the birth, which she obviously missed, but I'm so glad she was there in the moments after to share it with us.  I heard somebody ask her how she got in and she said the door was open!  Oops!  Here we were, all in the basement, with the front door open.  I'm glad it was though, because we never would have heard her knocking!  

Unfortunately, shortly afterward I was having horrible cramps and throwing up even more.  Ugh.  Daddy took the baby and they tried to give me more of that horrible Gu stuff.  Cindie also had some sort of essential oil that she put on a towel and held under my nose, which relieved the nausea almost instantly.  Then she gave me an advil for the cramping, but my stomach was totally empty so you can imagine that didn't stay down long.  They propped me up to push the placenta out, which was less than pleasant.  It was actually a bit of work, but it finally came out.  I was interested to see it, actually, and Mel pointed out all the different parts to me.  It was actually pretty interesting.  She did ask if I wanted to keep it - um, no.  It was whisked away and I was happy to never see it again. ;)

It was quite some time before the cramping and vomiting was under control, which was kind of crappy.  Daddy and Maggie were having some bonding time together, so that was nice.  Eventually Cindie headed home to get her kids ready for school and try to get some sleep as she'd been up for like 2 days straight.  Mel did all of Maggie's checks right there beside me on the bed, and explained everything.  Eventually we heard Stella moving around upstairs.  Jonathan brought her down and we said, Surprise!  Your baby sister is here! :)  That was awesome.  Grandma and Grandpa were called to come pick up Stella, and Mel helped me take a bath and get into bed.  She was wonderful.  She is a mother of two girls herself, and a Christian, and she was just so encouraging to me.  I felt like she didn't treat all of this as her job, but that she was helping me enter into this new phase of my life and family.  She also stayed a good 5 hours after the birth, cleaning up and making sure that Maggie's temperature got up to where it was supposed to be (that took a while).  I spent the whole day snuggled in bed with my little sweetie, drifting in and out of sleep.  Magic.

One of the things that I feel is really special about Margaret's birth is all of the love and support I felt.  I knew my friend Jenn was up all night praying until she heard the baby was born, and I knew others were praying for me as well.  And I had the physical support of 2 dear women throughout.  And even all of the love and prayers of Cindie throughout my pregnancy.  There were lots of things that didn't go as planned, and darn it if labour wasn't just as horribly painful the second time around. ;)  But I feel so grateful for the whole experience.  And I'm really looking forward to her baptism in the church which has embraced our entire family with loving arms.

And that is the story of Maggie.